George Singleton writes of the musical, dancing adventures of Augusta Jill and Gussie Lou

George Buster Singleton

(For decades, local historian and paranormal investigator George “Buster” Singleton published a weekly newspaper column called “Somewhere in Time.” The column below, which was titled “Augusta Jill takes up musical pursuits,” was originally published in the April 18, 1991 edition of The Monroe Journal in Monroeville, Ala.)

This is a letter from Fonderoy Fishue to his favorite cousin Penrod Meldean who lives in the Cajun country of Louisiana. Fonderoy’s better half, Augusta Jill, has developed a craving for music. Here is what the letter is all about.

My dear cousin Penrod,

I take pen in hand to write you and tell you about what my beloved wife’s latest passion is. If I make any mistakes in my spelling or writing, don’t be alarmed because it has been several nights since I have had a good night’s sleep.

A few days back, Augusta Jill, and that big fat sister of hers, Gussie Lou, made a trip to one of them big wholesale stores that has just opened in town. They say that you can find anything at them stores. I believe it because Augusta Jill bought Ole Blue (Ole Blue is my favorite coon dog) a collar that has some kind of battery in it. That collar does something that scares the living daylights out of the fleas and ticks and just about everything that used to worry Ole Blue half to death. He has gotten so lazy until I believe he has gotten too lazy to scratch.

But, getting back to my problem. Augusta Jill brought home from that store something they call a keyboard. (She spent almost all of my spring fertilizer money on that blasted thing.) Cousin Penrod, this thing is about the size of a big plant. It looks like a piano with everything but the keys missing. You have to plug it into the electric lights in the house for it to work. If Augusta Jill wants to carry it out in the yard, or to the barn, it has six flashlight batteries that will make it play.

That darn contraption has about 50 different buttons across the top of the plank. Cousin Penrod, you won’t believe the different sounds that this thing will make, just by punching them buttons. It makes sound like a piano or some sounds that I have never heard and don’t know how to describe them to you. Augusta Jill gets out on the front porch with this thing and plays. Ole Blue has howled so much until he can hardly howl above a whisper. He has just about ruined his voice.

There’s one button that you can push and that thing gives off a ghostly sound. All the house cats have left home. It seems like the sound is the one that Augusta Jill likes most. You can turn a knob and that thing will get so loud that it will shake the house. Or, you can turn it down so low until you can hardly hear it.

Them house cats has just about ruined all our window curtains. Augusta Jill would start that thing playing real low and then turn it up so loud that them cats will climb to the ceiling. Their tails get real fluffy when they hear that ghost music. My mule has tore down his stable door. I look for him to have a nervous breakdown any time now.

It wouldn’t be so bad if she would just play that darn plank-looking thing in the day time. But that darn woman likes to get up at night when all the lights are out and play that ghost music. As I told you earlier in the letter, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while. I don’t know which one will be first to go off the deep end, me or the mule.

I don’t guess the folks that live down the road know that Augusta Jill has got this contraption. Every night after the lights are turned off and that woman of mine gets up and starts playing that scary music, traffic picks up in front of the house. I believe they think that there’s some kind of spirit that has moved in with us. They sure have been giving us some real peculiar looks lately when they pass the house.

Cousin Penrod, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Augusta Jill said that just as soon as she got where she could play that plank-looking thing real good, she was going to get that fat sister of hers, Gussie Lou, to start learning how to sing. Then they might form them a nightclub act. Can you imagine that? Well, one thing for sure, that nightclub would break all records in booze sales – everybody would have to get falling down in the floor drunk so they could put up with their entertaining act.

I’ve been giving it some thought. I might just come down there and stay with you in that Cajun country for a while. I’m not going to be able to start plowing for a while anyway. My old mules are so nervous from that crazy music that Augusta Jill has been making until I can’t get the harness on them.

He’s got the nervous shakes real bad. I thought that I would mention me coming down there, Cousin Penrod. I just hope Augusta Jill and Gussie Lou don’t decide to want to learn that funny Cajun music; just ain’t no reason to ruin two good homes.

Well Cousin Penrod, I’m going to have to stop for now. I see Augusta Jill and Gussie Lou coming out toward the barn. That’s where I’m at. I came out here where I thought I might get a few minutes peace while I was writing you about my troubles.

You wouldn’t believe it, Cousin Penrod. All the chickens and cats and that crazy mule are high tailing it across the pasture. They must have seen them two big women coming across the yard – Augusta Jill with that plank-looking thing under her arm, and Gussie Lou wearing some of them blood red dancing tights. Ole Blue just passed the barn door in a dead run. I think I’ll go with him. Bye…

(Singleton, the author of the 1991 book “Of Foxfire and Phantom Soldiers,” passed away at the age of 79 on July 19, 2007. A longtime resident of Monroeville, he was born to Vincent William Singleton and Frances Cornelia Faile Singleton, during a late-night thunderstorm, on Dec. 14, 1927 in Marengo County, graduated from Sweet Water High School in 1946, served as a U.S. Marine paratrooper in the Korean War, worked as a riverboat deckhand, lived for a time among Apache Indians, was bitten at least twice by venomous snakes, moved to Monroe County on June 28, 1964 and served as the administrator of the Monroeville National Guard unit from June 28, 1964 to Dec. 14, 1987. He was promoted from the enlisted ranks to warrant officer in May 1972. For years, Singleton’s columns, titled “Monroe County history – Did you know?” and “Somewhere in Time” appeared in The Monroe Journal, and he wrote a lengthy series of articles about Monroe County that appeared in Alabama Life magazine. It’s believed that his first column appeared in the March 25, 1971 edition of The Monroe Journal. He also helped organize the Monroe County Museum and Historical Society and was also a past president of that organization. He is buried in Pineville Cemetery in Monroeville. The column above and all of Singleton’s other columns are available to the public through the microfilm records at the Monroe County Public Library in Monroeville. Singleton’s columns are presented here each week for research and scholarship purposes and as part of an effort to keep his work and memory alive.)