Jimmy Fallon's 'Thank You Notes' book is eye-wateringly funny

My friend and down the road neighbor, Jenny Lint, loaned me and my wife, Crystal, a book last night that is not only a quick read, but also eye-wateringly hilarious - “Thank You Notes” by Jimmy Fallon With the Writers of Late Night.”

Published in May by Grand Central Publishing, this 166-page book is a collection of humorously sarcastic thank you notes, which are a regular bit on the TV show, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Fallon, who starred on Saturday Night Live for five years, replaced Conan O’Brien on Late Night in 2009. Over time, Fallon’s thank you notes segment has become a fan favorite, and many liken it to David Letterman’s famous Top 10 lists or SNL’s “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.”

For those of you unfamiliar with Fallon’s thank you notes, the best way for me to give you an idea of what I’m talking about is to give you a few samples from the book. It’s Saturday night, so what the heck. Enjoy these excerpts from the book.

Thank You… Taco Bell Chihuahua, for your many years of faithful service as a mildly offensive Mexican stereotype.

Thank You… ants around my kitchen sink, for allowing every day to start with murder. Every day you take the paper towel express to Toiletville and yet more of you arrive the next morning. I don’t get it, ants. But thank you.

Thank you… Dog Snuggie, for allowing us to embarrass animals in a way I never imagined possibly. You did it. Thanks for that.

Thank you… preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate that. Thank you.

Thank you… fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

Thank you… the F12 button on my keyboard. What is it you do again? Oh, that’s right – nothing.

Thank you… the name Lloyd, for starting with two Ls. I’m glad both those Ls were there, because otherwise I would have called you “Loyd.”

Thank you… flour, for keeping the paper sack container business alive. Don’t want to change your packaging, huh? Whenever I buy you I feel like I’m Charles Ingalls buying something from Oleson’s store on credit.

Thank you… zebras, for showing me what horses would look like if I were on acid.

Thank you… microbreweries, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby.

And last, but not least…

Thank you… football season, for starting this week… and for finally making my habit of getting drunk at 11:00 in the morning every Sunday seem perfectly normal.

And, I’ll stop right there, because you get the picture. If you thought those were funny, then you need to read the entire book. It’s hilarious.

You might also want to check out Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. It airs Monday through Friday on NBC, starting at 11:35 p.m. Central Time.

In the end, how many of you have already read Fallon’s “Thank You Notes” book? What did you think about it? Which of the notes was your favorite? Let us know in the comments section below.