Did I ever tell you about the time that I met Conan the Barbarian?

Schwarzenegger as Conan the Barbarian

Did I ever tell you about the time that I met Conan the Barbarian?

No?

It was the same day that I met the Terminator.

No joke.

Back in 2004, I don’t remember the exact date, I found myself at Camp Arifjan (pronounced Air-Riff-John), a hot and dusty Army camp that served as a major logistical hub for units taking part in Operation Iraqi Freedom.

From time to time at these places, USO tours would pass through and bring celebrities to visit the troops. These USO groups usually included pro sports team cheerleaders, professional athletes, actors and comedians. Some that I remember include R. Lee Ermy (the drill sergeant from “Full Metal Jacket), the Washington Redskin cheerleaders, a handful of professional wrestlers and comedians Al Franken and Robin Williams. As you might imagine, when the USO came to town, they drew a big crowd.

On this particular day, Arnold Schwarzenegger was the main attraction. At the time, while he made no mention of it, he was running for the California governor’s seat, a position that he eventually went on to hold. For the troops that wanted to see and hear him, you had to be at the mess hall at a certain time.

Camp Arifjan had what was reputedly the largest mess hall in the Army, but that still didn’t keep me from standing in the longest line I’ve ever stood in in my life. In Army talk, we had to stand in line to get in line.

When I finally made it into the building, it was packed. Most folks just stood around, mainly because they couldn’t move due to the size of the crowd, but I was slowly able to make my way closer to the front of the crowd. Before long, I was actually close enough to hear “Ahh-nold” speak and when he began to take a few minutes to shake hands with the troops, I found myself among the first few to shake his giant hand.

As long as I live, I’ll never forget my exact thoughts at that moment. I gripped his hand, looked him in the eye and gave it a firm shake. The encounter lasted all of about two seconds before he moved on to shake the hand of the person behind me.

It was in that moment, as I stepped to the side that I thought: Man, I just shook hands with Conan the Barbarian.

Some of you may laugh at that, but I can’t help but connect Arnold with Conan, given that Arnold played the role of the famed, fictional barbarian in a number of movies in the 1980s. (He’s also famous for his role as the Terminator in that series of movies.)

I only mention all of this because I got to thinking about my encounter with Arnold the other day when I was reading through Robert E. Howard’s “The Conquering Sword of Conan.” Published in November 2005, the book includes such sword-and-sorcery classics as “The Servants of Bit-Yakin," “Beyond the Black River,” “The Black Stranger,” “Man-Eaters of Zamboula," and “Red Nails.” 

These stories and others like them inspired the Conan the Barbarian movies that helped make Arnold famous. I highly recommend the book for any Conan fans out there. Check it out when you get a chance. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.