 |
| Nine-Ounce Jar of Hormel Pigs Feet |
Throughout my teenage years I worked in a small grocery store, and I can remember stocking the shelves with a wide variety of items. Most of those items were completely normal – beans, peas, canned corn, etc. – but others weren’t quite so mainstream. One such item was pigs feet. I’d never been brave enough to sample this item, which is why I added it to my “life list” a couple of years ago.
Saturday night I found myself in the local Wal-Mart, and as I walked down one of the grocery aisles, a jar of pickled pigs feet caught my eye. A few minutes and $2.77 later, I was on the way home with a nine-ounce jar of Hormel Vinegar-Packed, Semi-Boneless Pigs Feet. I sat the jar on my desk when I got home, and I eyeballed it for the better part of a day before I mustered the courage to eat what was inside.
The jar of pigs feet, which without the label would have closely resembled a specimen from my high school biology lab, quickly drew the attention of my children. They wrinkled up their noses, rotated the jar in their hands and asked more than a few times if I was really going to eat the disgusting thing inside. My answer was always an emphatic “yes,” and I vowed to make sure they were present when the meal began.
Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. It was raining outside and boredom had set it. What better time to amaze (and gross out) my kids with a meal of pickled pigs feet? Channeling my inner Bear Grylls, I made a big production of it, ceremoniously setting the table with a clean white plate and large fork. I then cracked the jar open over the sink and silently took in the fact that the lid didn’t “pop” when I turned it. Not a good sign, but a quick check of the expiration date told me the contents weren’t due to expire until June 2016. What could go wrong, I wondered.
After pouring a sizeable amount of greasy liquor down the kitchen sink, I sat down at the table and forked the jar’s contents onto my white plate. The gristly, disgusting mass of meat looked exactly like a glob of raw chicken, but I vowed to solider on. After all, my wife and kids were watching, and a glance at their faces told me that they were completely grossed out. But like witnesses to a car crash, they could not look away.
“Are you really going to put that in your mouth?” my wife asked.
“Yep!” I answered cheerfully, while my stomach did a slow roll.
Without further ado, I cut a small piece of the meat away and popped it into my mouth. I was immediately struck by the strong, vinegary taste of the meat, which came apart in my mouth like so much jelly. The meat offered almost no resistance whatsoever and it went down slickly. I wasn’t the best thing that I’ve ever eaten by a long shot, in fact, it probably ranks very high among the worst things that I’ve ever eaten, but it would do in a pinch, if I were starving.
I forked in a few more bites for good measure and even convinced by daughter to try some. She popped a dice-sized piece into her mouth and then immediately spit it out in the kitchen trash can. My son declined a piece, and my wife told me that she’d never kiss me again.
In the end, while I can’t say that I enjoyed eating pigs feet, I did get a small bit of pleasure from scratching another item off my “life list.” How many of you out there have ever eaten pigs feet? What did you think about them? Did you like them or not? Why? What other types of unusual foods have you eaten? Let us know in the comments section below.
2013 LIFE LIST ITEM “CONFIRMED KILLS” TO DATE:
1. Ate a funnel cake
2. Ate a peach from Chilton County, Alabama
3. Ate at Big Daddy’s Grill in Fairhope
4. Ate at Callaghan’s Irish Social Club in Mobile
5. Ate catfish at the Stage Coach Café in Stockton
6. Ate octopus
7. Ate pigs feet
8. Attended a Beulah Campground service
9. Drank a fresh lemonade at Toomer’s Drugs in Auburn
10. Drank a Mimosa
11. Drank Cognac
12. Drank goat’s milk
13. Hiked the Grand Canyon
14. Joined the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society
15. Joined the Sons of Confederate Veterans
16. Made an origami animal
17. Listened to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” without interruption
18. Listened to The Beatles’ “White Album” without interruption
19. Planted a vegetable garden
20. Ran the Alligator Trot 5K in Florala
21. Ran the Battle of Mobile Bay 5K on Dauphin Island
22. Ran through the Bankhead Tunnel in Mobile
23. Read all the Hellboy graphic novels
24. Read “And Then There Were None” by Agatha Christie
25. Read “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” by Roald Dahl
26. Read MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech
27. Read “Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer” by Warren St. John
28. Read “Savage Wilderness” by Barry Ralph
29. Read the entire Bible
30. Read “Who Goes There?” by John W. Campbell Jr.
31. Saw the Ginkgo tree in Evergreen
32. Started a fire without matches
33. Took the downtown Selma walking tour
34. Tried 100 different types of beer
35. Visited Ellicott’s Stone
36. Visited Packer’s Bend
37. Visited the Grand Canyon
38. Visited the grave of Lewis Lavon Peacock
39. Visited the Hank Williams Statue in Montgomery
40. Watched “A Streetcar Named Desire”
41. Watched “Brazil” (1985) 42. Watched “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" (1958)
43. Watched “Dracula” (1931)
44. Watched “Easy Rider” (1969) 45. Watched “Nosferatu” (1922)
46. Watched “This Is Spinal Tap”
(AUTHOR’S NOTE: The whole point of these life list updates is NOT to draw attention to myself or to anything that I’ve done. Instead, I hope to encourage others to accomplish their own bucket list goals. I’m just a regular guy, and if I can do these things, so can you.)
No comments:
Post a Comment